There is about a month left of the semester.  I never imagined time could move in so many different speeds.  

As I sit here, pondering about where the time has gone (and not at all procrastinating on studying), I feel relieved.  Strangely, that wasn't the feeling I expected.  I was thinking more along the lines of panic, sad, frustrated, confused, or utterly devastated.  The things that have happened, the people we have lost, the tests we have failed (hah), and all the things that could possibly make me feel less than sure are just... gone.    

I guess time really does heal all wounds.  The scars are there and I'll rub them from time to time, all the while thinking about what put it there.  But they have healed, so there is no more pain.

Not sure who the original author of this quote is, but it was touching.

Life is an adventure on a really long road. During that adventure you will win great victories and face terrible loss. However, during that adventure you are going to share the road with many amazing people. But some of those people might be on that road longer than you, or get off the road long before you do. The only thing that you can do is remember the times that you shared the road with those special people and hold those memories tight. For as long as you hold those memories tight it’s as if they never left the road and are still by your side.

I'm the kind of person who likes to dwell on memories.  For years I tried so tediously to document every detail of every single day of my life.  The I wondered, "do I ever return to those moments?" I can't say I've never gone back to look, but that was never the point.  Those things are there "just in case."  Honestly, I can't bear to look back at all those stupid things I used to worry about.  Why didn't anyone tell me I was being so dumb?  Why didn't anyone STOP me from being like that?

Like this post for example.  I can't wait to never read it again.  

My dear friend, I can tell you were a pleasant memory to many people.  I hope one day I can be too.

Maybe it's a little late for this.  Usually this is a new years post.

Whenever I decide to look back a year, everything typically looks the same.  What was I doing last year?  Yup, still doing that now.  Has anything changed?  No, not really.  Great, still in the same place I was this time last year.  Not much really changes, right?

I was officially dis-enrolled from ROTC yesterday.  Kinda makes me feel like I didn't follow through with my commitment.  Although, circumstances change.  New opportunities arose that were just too good to pass up. 

It's funny though.  After thinking it through and wondering how it would impact my future, I decided that I would try to go for it.  I imagine what kinds of things I'd have to sacrifice.  Looking at the year that just passed and looking at my present state, I decided that maybe I didn't have all that much at the moment.  There wasn't much that I'd have to give up.  And I figured, the next year will probably be about the same.  Not much will change, still nothing much to give up.  I'll still be in the exact same boat I was in last year.

And then things happen.  You meet people.  They change your perspective on the things you were once so sure of.  Slowly but surely, I realize the things that I had sacrificed to be here and to do what I wanted to do at one point, meant so so much to me.  The relationships, both romantic and non (who am I kidding, all non-romantic), were all gone.  I'm being dramatic.  They're not all gone, but kind of faded.

Very wordy post for a very simple reason.  I met someone.  He has... potential.  But I wonder if it's worth pursuing.  I haven't put an expiration date on it yet, which is good, but that doesn't mean I won't in the future.  I feel like I'll regret it if I try to stop it.  So for now, I'm letting things run it's course.  Nothing official or anything, just friends.

You always told me to jump in with both feet.  I just can't bring myself to do it.